Some things sound so good that people lose sight of how stupid they are. Case in point — some Republicans demand that we keep our currency “strong.” Never mind that a weak currency helps our balance of trade and might even save American manufacturing jobs. (The Chinese are frequently criticized for keeping theirs artificially “weak.”) “Strong” sounds so much better than “weak.”
Another example: Folks on our side keep demanding that we change the Constitution — or at least the personnel of the Supreme Court — so that corporations will no longer be considered “persons.” It sounds good, but it makes no sense legally.
In the law, a “person” is any entity capable of having rights and owing duties — any entity upon which the law can act. Anything that isn’t a “person” can’t be taken into court. That’s why, depending on the law in your state, if you get beaten up by the cops, you can’t sue the police department. The PD isn’t a “person,” so you have to sue the city, which is.
There are “natural persons,” which is legalese for human beings. And there are “artificial persons,” a category which includes not only big, for-profit corporations, but small businesses, hospitals and universities, towns and cities, and political and religious organizations. They’re not “people,” as a certain Republican presidential candidate has been known to say, but what would be the consequences of saying they’re not “persons,” not capable of having rights or duties? Since I’m from Michigan, I’ll give you some examples involving our No. 1 corporate “person,” General Motors.
Say I cut through a fence onto a G.M. lot, hot-wire a new car, and drive it away. I’m a car thief, right? Name the person from whom I have stolen. No person, no property rights. No property, no theft.
Or maybe you take a job at G.M., paychecks to be issued every two weeks. At the end of two weeks, you don’t get your paycheck. So your contract has been breached, right? Name the person with whom you have the contract. Again, no person, no contract. No contract, no breach. (Of course, you could just swipe one of the cars.)
So how about saying “artificial persons” don’t have constitutional rights? Better, but be careful how far you go. If they don’t have First Amendment rights, the government can forbid them to “speak” based on what they want to say. It would be perfectly legal for the government to say corporations can support the latest war, but not oppose it — give money to the governing party, but not the opposition. It’s only the First Amendment that stops the government from doing that now.
And again, corporations are not just the Fortune 500, but the ACLU and Moveon.org. If we try to limit the rules to “for-profit” corporations, that cuts out corporations such as the New York Times and the Nation. Besides, the for-profits will just create non-profits to carry out their wishes. And in any event — as it should be clear by now — the problem is not just corporations corrupting the elections; the superpacs are being funded by a handful of hyper-wealthy individuals, such as the Koch brothers, who get their money from the corporations.
In the end, there are no short-cuts. We have allowed dangerous concentrations of irresponsible private wealth to develop, and there is no simple way to keep that wealth from entering and distorting the democratic process. We have to confront corporate power directly — and the problem of money in elections. But trying to simply declare corporations not to be “persons” — besides being completely unworkable — will accomplish nothing.

